Royal Wedding

Today was the Royal Wedding of Kate and William...ohh so beautiful! :)
Before I get to that though, let me brief you on my day and such..
I had blood testing at 7am so I left by 6:30 this morning then cam home by 7:45, showered, and left to go to 8:30am daily mass at St. Mark. After that I decided that it wasn't worth going home since I would fall asleep and miss an appointment I was supposed to have at 1:30 so I decided to shop instead since I still need some clothes for my internship and for NET. After that I got my haircut, went to my appointment then I went to Channelside for my first Hooter's experience with Chelsea. Then I got to hang out with my mom and shop with her in Brandon for other stuff I needed for the next year which was a lot of fun actually. Amanda Arce, one of my amazing sorority sisters, and Charles AKA Sparkles came over for food and to hang out for a little bit which was awesome since I leave on Tuesday :)

Okay, so back to this wedding...it was AWESOME. So beautiful and...well, beautiful. Her dress was amazing and the style was gorgeous.

Now to what was really great...I got to go to daily mass this morning at my church. It was at 8:30, so I showered really quick when I got home and then headed to mass. Daily mass at my church is great..I don't know why I love it so much, but I do. It's a big worship area with few people, but the people are very much there. Fr. Ed, one of my favorite, if not my favorite, priest presided over mass this morning and he talked about The Polar Express in his homily which was awesome since I love Christmas, I love that movie, and his point was legit.

Whenever I receive the Eucharist, I really remember why I am Catholic. He is fully present here, not just symbolically. How totally amazing is that....
Anyway, since today is a good day and there is no better time than the present, start going to daily mass when you can..even get up earlier to go maybe...just as if you were getting up early for the Royal Wedding, but this promise is much more amazing. :)

See you in the Eucharist.

God Bless.

-Erica Jean Boehm

It's been WAY too long...

Let me do a quick update on my life. A few big things that have happened since January. I will be serving with NET Ministries, which is a 9 month mission program, starting in August of this year. I have been really busy with everything going on. I went to Immokalee, FL this weekend with some other students, Dr. Woodard and his family. I learned so much and still haven't really figured out my feelings yet. It was a lot to take in in a very short amount of time. I am doing my final art project on Immokalee farm workers though which will be really awesome hopefully.


Okay now to real stuff..
I have been stressing out a little bit because I am leaving May 3 for my summer internship in South Dakota and I have a lot to get done before then, specifically raising $4200 for NET and getting my life in order and packed for this year. It's crazy to think that in less than 150 days I will be flying into Minnesota for 9 months of serving with NET. Tonight I really just needed to talk things out so I went to my sister's room and just spilled out loud because I wasn't sure what to do. After the fact I realize that I keep thinking about my plans...It's not about me!! God's got this crazy awesome plan for everything and things will work out how they need to.. How awesome is that..I don't need to worry.

Well, I will write more about NET and SD later so everyone know what is going on more, but until then, Breathe and Smile <3

God Bless,

Erica Jean Boehm

Original

You are an original work of art....you do not need to change who you are to please anyone...

Listen to this song...it is EPIC..and she's a Catholic artist!

I read in one of the many books that my mom has given me this excerpt today...
"Do not try to change who you are; change the way you look at things. Expand your viewpoint."
I think  this happens every minute of my life practically because I am constantly learning new things about life, and myself..so my views change which ends up changing how I act...

I just wanted to share that little bit with you all.

God Bless.

Remember that you are LOVED!

-Erica Jean

Lord, I'm Overwhelmed...

"Lord I'm Overwhelmed...I often lose sight of You. Please rejuvenate my soul and help me look to You for strength and comfort when I need it most. Remind me that I can't control everything and that it's okay that I'm not perfect. Amen."

-Whispers of Joy, Day 47

I have been sick since last week Wednesday and I honestly don't think that I have gotten anything completely finished since then because I have been so worn out. I finally went to the doctor today though and got some antibiotics and other medicine to take and after a long night's sleep last night I already feel better.
The sickness has set me back a little bit though because I haven't been staying on top of a few things that I have been needing to stay on top of so it has just piled up, so I am overwhelmed.
I was sitting in Marmion-Snyder tonight with some sisters who were on RA duty tonight though and I was working on one of the projects that has been needing to get done when one of my fellow peer ministers came along and I was reminded that it's okay if things maybe don't get done as planned and that's when the Holy Spirit came along and worked wonders! It was amazing how things fell into place after that. I was so worried that I wasn't going to be able to focus on this retreat this weekend that I will be at because of everything I had going on, but now with that off my plate there's one less thing to worry about!
I sometimes get so caught up in life that I forget for a second that it's God's plan not mine. Even though I can be a perfectionist sometimes, I have to remember that what ever happens will be perfect in God's eyes and it will all work out according to His plan.

Pray for all of the retreatants, chaperones, youth ministers, and NET Team 2 that will be at Bethany Center this weekend. <3

God's will be done.

Peace and Love,

Erica Jean Boehm

It's the little things in Life

"Take time in your day to be inspired by something small--the scent of a flower, a hug from a child, an 'I Love you' from your spouse....Then thank God for the little things in life."

-Whispers of Joy

I got a new book of daily encouragement quotes called "Whispers of Joy" for Valentine's Day from my grandma. I opened it up to day 43 which is today, well yesterday but I haven't slept yet, and that quote was on the page.
Today I had the opportunity to go to Busch Gardens for our leadership conference for school. We got to listen and participate in a leadership presentation from this awesome speaker. Even though most people, including myself didn't want to be there for numerous different reasons, I got a lot out of the speaker. He was very easy to relate to and pretty cool. He explained leadership in such a simple way and demonstrated it very well. After the speaker was done, we got lunch and then had the next 7ish hours to wander the park.
Wandering inside the park was a lot of fun even though I hadn't slept the night before really and I was sick, but I still really enjoyed it even though I probably looked like I was sleeping. Being able to interact and just watch people today that I knew was awesome. Watching a bunch of college guys on the bumper cars, looking at peoples' roller coaster pictures, looking at orangutans, running out of the snake area, and just learning about animals makes me so happy. The simple things are sometimes the best things. I didn't have to be at Busch Gardens to be having fun though...I could be in an almost empty room and have fun with people..I mean have you ever hear of toothless vegetable!
Stepping back and remembering the simple things is hard sometimes, but those are sometimes the things that mean the most.
Someone telling me they like my pearls or my shoes, or I look at peace or am calm or I have a good joke...it's stuff that I don't notice really..but it's awesome to hear. So thanks God for people such awesome people and experiences in my life..

Peace,
Erica Jean

Falling in the water--PRAISE GOD!

So this morning...
1. I missed my 8am class.
2. I couldn't find my flip flops, so I put on my $3 WalMart shower flip flops.
3. I was running late for my painting class and on the way to my class I fell in the courtyard because the pavement was wet.
4. I broke my shower shoes when I fell.
5. I was late to class.
6. I am sick.
7. PRAISE GOD!

What I think about each of those things:

1. No big deal...I'll figure it out...and I got extra needed sleep.
2. My shower flip flops are Teal-ish..cool color!
3. It gave my jeans some character because they got darker because of the water.
4. I get to get a new color shower shoe and I got a reason to walk around barefoot.
5. Only 10 minutes.
6. It gives me a reason to sleep.
7. Praise God!

This week has been phenomenal. I have barely gotten any sleep, but I gained 16 new, amazing, beautiful sisters because of it. I missed something I probably should have gone to, but I got to be somewhere else and it helped me relax and just laugh for awhile.
Everything we think is bad or sets us back really has something good come out of it..with every no, there's a bigger yes!

-Erica Jean

Too much Fog....

I just went to USCCB to read the Mass readings for today and they are really awesome... READ THEM HERE! The second reading is what I focused in on though. All I can think about is "God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called."
I went to Tampa last night to hang out with some friends and ended up about 45 minutes away from Leo and didn't leave there until close to 3am, which isn't that bad except there was so much fog and it was so thick that I couldn't see more than a few feet in front of me the whole way home even with my brights on. As I was driving I decided that I wasn't going to be able to drive on the highway any longer and thought it would be better if there were street lights so I decided to go home instead of back to Leo which would take about 10 minutes off my drive too.
Next thing from last night:
Last night I learned some things that really got me thinking...I learned that my life could have been completely different if I would have not done something that I am a part of now and waited for another opportunity that was coming, and that opportunity is exactly where I wanted to be. It got me a little bummed because I thought I settled for something less, but in actuality, what I am a part of now is exactly where I am supposed to be.

I was thinking about everything from last night and I realized that this is like our faith journey sometimes..Our path gets fogged up by what could have been or should have been or what WE want, so God throws something in front of us so we have to go home to Him to find out what is real and where HE wants us.
I love where I am now and I wouldn't be the person I am without everything that has happened in the last year especially. It's so great to see where God wants me to be and go down that path even though it is easier to go down our own paths sometimes. He doesn't call you for what you are qualified for, he qualifies you for what He wants you to do. A year away from home...I know He will give me what I need to get through the year away :)

Challenge: Bring God into all of your decisions and see what He wants you to do.

Love,
Erica Jean

Thanking God for 4 new brothers and 16 new sisters!

"Into marvelous light I'm running,
Out of darkness, out of shame.
By the cross you are the truth,
You are the life, you are the way"

This weekend I had the opportunity to go on a retreat to grow closer to God and also learn about a fantastic program called NET Ministries which stands for National Evangelization Teams. This weekend is something that I can't even explain really because it was just so EPIC. If I had to describe it though, I've decided that "Spirit-filled" would be the best way to sum it up. Everywhere we went and in every session, especially prayer time, the Holy Spirit was definitely there and it didn't go unnoticed. Also the people, not just the staff, but the young men and women on retreat were so filled with the Spirit too. I can't say that I have been able to be on a retreat where I've noticed the Holy Spirit's presence as much as I have on this retreat. The young men and women on retreat were just beautiful and holy people and it showed in everything they did. They were glowing. There were 4 men and 13 women and they are my brothers and sisters. The men on retreat were so different from each other but each of them were glowing with this awesome love they had inside of them and it was really great and inspiring to see such Holy men. The women were no different-they were so accepting and open to the Lord which makes them so beautiful. (I am praying for each and everyone of you!)

After the retreat was over, some of us spent the night so we didn't have to travel at night and the fellowship was AMAZING that night (Saturday Night). We played games, the human knot being one of them, while the men were still upstairs and we did a Jesus Chain (I am pretty sure that is what it was called and Santiago will correct me if I am wrong) and just hung out. After we went to our respective area of women and men dorms, the women just sat and talked and shared in one of the rooms for awhile then some of us went to the chapel and had 1am Praise and Worship time which was BEAUTIFUL! There was dancing, shouting, clapping, singing off key, and just so much joy coming from myself and other beautiful women.

This morning(Sunday), some of us woke up around 6:15 to go downstairs before Adam (one of the men on retreat) left to go home because we wanted to sing Happy Birthday since it was his birthday today. I thought it was great. The things that we did this weekend made it feel as though all 17 of us have been friends for years but really we didn't even know each other for more than 36 hours probably. There were so many jokes, so much laughter, and amazing LOVE present among us this weekend as we were filled with knowledge, more love and the Holy Spirit.

One of the parts that I enjoyed a lot, which is actually every part of the retreat, but this was cool on a different level, was when we got to opportunity to share our 3 minute personal testimonies with the group. We were barely given an hour to write it before we were supposed to be sharing. I liked the rush though..I enjoy challenge. I found my main topic to talk about while I was praying during a few minutes we had before sharing time and I didn't write anything down because when I did try to write something down I found it wasn't where God was leading me to go with it. In the end, I prayed that the Holy Spirit would just speak through me and I would say exactly what needed to be said.

This weekend was filled with challenges and taking steps closer to God. The main place that we were challenged to go further was in Praise and Worship. We learned about expressive prayer, which I think is awesome and we kept getting told to go further and open ourselves up to the Lord. All weekend I felt so comfortable and at home during Praise and Worship. I enjoy being able to clap and raise my hands while singing and praising and that's what they challenged us to do, open up to the Lord.

On retreat it was so easy to open ourselves up because I had so much time for personal prayer and we had what would be called team prayer because we were all praying together. They taught us how to P.R.A.Y using this acronym. P=Praise.

Something BIGGER

"Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life, something heavenly"
<3 Sanctus Real

     I was talking with my friend Mary on Facebook chat earlier today and in the middle of our conversation she sent me the beginning of the lyrics at the beginning of this post and it got me listening to the song. I forget about songs sometimes because I start to listen to just one band or something sometimes, but this song, after she said the lyrics and I thought about it, the song popped right back into my head and I was singing it. Anyway, I put it on a little bit ago after reading the Gospel for tomorrow...I read the Gospel and was thinking about it and listening to what God wanted me to take from it, and it brought me back to that song surprisingly.

The part of scripture that really was stuck in my mind was this part:

"Then, taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven,
he said the blessing, broke the loaves, and gave them to his disciples
to set before the people;
he also divided the two fish among them all.
They all ate and were satisfied.
And they picked up twelve wicker baskets full of fragments
and what was left of the fish.
Those who ate of the loaves were five thousand men."
-Mark 6: 41-44

How something so small can feed so many people is amazing, but it reminded me of the Eucharist then first. Every week, every day, when we gather for Mass, the same thing is done with the Eucharist. AMAZING! After that I was thinking about how after we receive the Eucharist, we go out into the world and serve others. We are just one person. One person in this big world. What can we do as one person? I got thinking about that... As one person. As a child of God. As His, I can do so much. I just have to take that step and then keep stepping. It's amazing how much one person can do if they keep giving.

TobyMac's Facebook page earlier this week had a post on it that really caught my eye..

He is ready and waiting for YOU

 When you look at the crucifix, you understand how much Jesus loved you then. When you look at the Sacred Host, you understand how much Jesus loves you now.
-Mother Teresa

Have you ever had one of those times where you've read a Bible story and thought you understood it completely, but then when you read it again this time, it really clicked? Ok, maybe not, but I really believe that God will show me what I need when I need it, so this is one of those times where I thought I understood the full meaning of a story but when I read it tonight, I really let it sink in. I read the story of the prodigal son tonight where the son comes home and the father welcomes him home with dancing and a feast after doing wrong. I really understood it. That story is so present in my life in my family, but I guess I never realized that it is just like my relationship with God. God will and does love you no matter what you've done. He will hold you and welcome you home no matter what, you just have to be willing to take that step and go in that direction.

I went to adoration at about 2am this morning at a church about 45 minutes away because I knew that had adoration overnight on Friday nights. This wasn't the first time I have gone there, and thinking about the Prodigal son story brings me back to one of the first times I went there for Adoration late at night. I got this quote by Mother Teresa about Jesus' love for us (the one at the beginning of the post). His love is NEVER ENDING. How AMAZING?!

What originally brought me to Adoration was not this though, but as we know, God's plan is always better than our own.

Meteor Shower

"I am not my own

For I have been made new
Please don't let me go
I desperately need you"

<3 Owl City -"Meteor Shower"

Let me tell you about how my adventure tonight started. I put on knee socks. Then I put on leggings. After that I put on a pair of fleece socks. Then I put on jeans and tucked my jeans into those socks and then put on another pair of fleece socks. On top of the jeans, I put on pajama pants. That is just the beginning. I already had two shirts on, so then I put on 3 sweatshirts, all with hoods, put the hoods on, and then proceeded to take my comforter and a fleece blanket outside to watch the meteor shower. I was still freezing, but that didn't matter.

I went outside on my lanai in my backyard tonight to watch the meteor shower. I have a fascination with watching the sky, hoping that I will see something more than just stars like I see any other night that I brave the weather and lay out there. Tonight, there are no words to describe what I saw. I realized I was crying while I was outside when I came inside and I felt the tears on my face that had ran down to my chin. I wasn't surprised though because

"In Christ Alone"

"In Christ alone, my hope is found

He is my light, my strength, my song

This cornerstone, this solid ground

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease

My comforter, my all-in-all

Here in the love of Christ I stand"
<3 "In Christ Alone" sung by Owl City

 

     First off, I would like to apologize for taking so long to write a new blog. My Fall 2010 semester is over now though! Praise God! It's been a long one, but at the same time it went by really quickly. Now to my blog....

     When I hear a song that I like, I generally listen to it about 50 times a day...the repeat button is my favorite at times like this. This last week of school, one of the girls in my hallway was awesome and made me a mix CD of praise and worship music and slid it under my door. I got to this one track and it sounded really beautiful and catchy. It sounded kind of like Owl City, actually it sounded exactly like Owl City, but sometimes I go crazy and hear things that aren't there maybe so I brushed it off. I later looked it up and it was by Owl City! How great! I love Owl City, so it made me love the song even more. Anyway, this song when I heard it caught my attention in a way that not many songs do. When I listened it was like I was personally being spoken, well sung, to and it made me fall in love kind of. (Work with me here...)

Something ordinary and so Amazing!

"Understand this well: there is something holy, something divine hidden in the most ordinary situations,
and it is up to each one of you to discover it."
- St. Josemaria Escriva

So the other day I said something about us having a different clock than God sometimes and today that was true sort of. I was going to wake up to go to morning mass at 7am and mass at 7:30am in the Abbey, but I didn't wake up until 6:45. Yes, I could have made it probably, but I wouldn't have been chill and mentally ready for morning prayer, so I decided I would just go to mass. I got ready and walked over with my friend Beverley to the church to find an amazing change of plans. Today's schedule was pushed back a half hour because it is a feast day so morning prayer was at 7:30 and mass was at 8! That means I got to go to both this morning!

Of course morning prayer and mass were great, but then I left the church and started walking to the dining hall on campus and an older couple who was in mass was walking that direction too. I walk really fast sometimes, and they moved to the one side of the sidewalk, but as I got up to them, I slowed down and said 'Hello' and asked how their day was going and such and we started having an actual conversation about if I am a student here, what I am studying, etc. I learned that they are from about 100 miles north of Detroit, but they are snow birds and just got down here for the winter and live in Brooksville and come to Leo a couple times while they are here to get oranges and go to the church. Now remember, I am from Wisconsin, so it was cool to hear that they are from up North and are snow birds because my grandparents do that too and are coming down next week! I found out that they know a Franciscan sister in Milwaukee, which is where I was born and I grew up around there. 

So where am I going with all of this you may ask. A couple of ways.

It's a NEW YEAR!

"Right here right now
Under the stars
I promise you my heart
Cause it starts tonight!"-TobyMac

I would like to start off by saying HAPPY NEW YEAR! I get more excited about this new year than the January 1st new year every year. With a new year here, that means Advent is here! Advent is a time for us to prepare ourselves for Christ's coming. Although I think we should be doing this everyday, Advent is a time in the church where things are changing and we can focus more on preparing our hearts for God.

This morning I went to morning prayer and mass with the monks at the Abbey and it was really great. Everyday we have the opportunity to participate in mass and receive the Eucharist and I think that mass helps us prepare ourselves and our hearts immediately. 

"I will give you a new heart and place a new spirit within you, taking from your bodies your stony hearts and giving you natural hearts." - Ezekiel 36:26

This summer when I started going to daily mass more frequently, I found that my heart was changing constantly and growing more open. I think when we make that decision to be open to God, he gives us this new heart, as stated in Ezekiel. Everyday that I went to mass, God was showing me something new and greater and I was opening my heart up to even more possibilities. 

The song "Tonight" by TobyMac has some great lyrics for right now. It starts tonight, promise God your heart and open yourself up. I am going to go a step farther and say it start right now. No better time than the present right? Spend some time with Jesus, even 5 minutes, and see what he is saying to you.

Oh and something else I have learned is to be patient because I am pretty sure that we have a different clock than God does sometimes.

Peace and Love,

Erica Jean

Way Beyond Myself!

"There’s so much more than meets the eye
Or what’s going on inside
I believe in something way beyond myself
Like the wind that moves the leaves
Lord, You bring me to my knees
I believe in something way beyond myself.."

<3 Newsboys

This year, I have really allowed myself to open my heart more to what God wants instead of what I want and just follow him wherever he takes me. Some people have a hard time trusting that whatever happens in my life is up to God..

I was driving in the car today to go get tea with a couple of friends and this song came on and it kept saying "I believe in something way beyond myself.." and that stuck in my head until I got to the tea lounge. God puts things in my life, opportunities, windows, doors, people that I may not see right away. As I continue to open myself up to what God wants, He shows me things more clearly, but it's all Him, never me. I love this song because it says the win that moves the leaves because something so simple that you may not think about even is God working in our lives.

"I’ve been thinking it’s about time
To win the war that fights against all the lies invading my mind
You have brought me to my senses
Even though You built this world to shake
You still love me in a personal way
So I think it’s time to leave my doubt behind.."

In my life lately, I have really had to trust God with what is happening because I have no idea what's going on with a lot of things right now, but I've learned that if I leave my doubt behind, He makes things happen if it's in His will for me.

Sometimes we can be too stubborn to go with what God wants and I know that I used to be like that, then I opened myself up and it was a whole new world of opportunity and it was full of God's love and caring hand. I had never experienced God like that before and now that I have there is no way I would want to go back.

Be open to what God wants for you because His plan is always better!

Side note that has nothing to do with this blog other than it happened while I was writing it:

I am in Panera and my feet were cold so I put my toes on the white box on my power cord that was really warm...Thanks God for that hot idea. 

Peace and Love,

Erica Jean Boehm

Keep ministering...to yourself too!

“One would be wise to see themselves not merely as a channel, but a reservoir. For a channel simply transmits something from one place to another, without retaining a drop for itself. While a reservoir first, fills itself up, and then, without losing any of what it has, waters the fields it is meant to water." - St. Bernard

Being in ministry, sometimes you get so involved in being there for the teens and your peers that you forget to minister to yourself and continue to fill yourself up. Being a peer minister at my church all through high school was great, and I was lucky enough to have a youth minister who knew that we needed to be filled as well so she gave us opportunities for that. Now that I am in college, I always remember to take time to spend with the Lord no matter what. A month ago I went on a young adult retreat to have time to retreat from the world and it was really great, but now a month later, I realize everyday I have that and you don't have to go on retreat to get filled. Everyday when I take time out for personal prayer or even going to Mass, I am filling myself up so I can better minister to people everyday. It's great knowing that God is always there waiting.

As I am writing this, the song "Taking You With Me" by Relient K came on and these lyrics really stuck out.

"So I'm taking you with me
Anywhere that I
Could ever wanna be
For the rest of my life
I want you there with me
And if there ever comes a time
When I should have to leave
I hope you know that I
I'm taking you with me"

I think about moving on in life, which I have been facing a lot lately. I am going to South Dakota for the whole summer to be in ministry and I know that I will need and want God with me along the way. I think about the small things though too that are actually really BIG.

Until the Whole World Hears

"I want to be Your hands and feet, I want to live a life that leads, To see You set the captive free
Until the whole world hears
And I pray the day will see More of You and less of me
Lord, I want my life to be The song You sing" 

<3 Casting Crowns

The word "whole" has been coming up in my prayer life a lot lately, in different ways, but so great. One of the things that I have been getting out of Lectio is "whole heart". As I contemplated this in prayer, I found that God puts me into different situations and encounter different things in order for my love for God and other to grow stronger. I look at is as even though I may face hardships along the way, his plan is to ultimately build my heart up stronger to serve Him and not tear me down.

"With Every NO, God has a bigger YES!"

Another way that I have run into "whole" in prayer is tonight when I was praying Lectio and came across the words "whole law" in Matt 22:34-40. Right before those words, it says to Love the Lord with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind. In order to fully serve God and His people, I think that it's necessary to love God with everything you have.


I am chaperoning a retreat tomorrow and it's a homeless retreat. Yes, I said Homeless...

The Best Thing

"It's been a year
Filled with problems
But now you're here
Almost as if to solve them
And I can't live in a world without you now"

 <3 Relient K-"The Best Thing"

So today I have realized (not that I haven't before) that not only does having God around make life easier, the people he puts in my life make living everyday easier. God has put some pretty phenomenal people in my life (Yes, that's YOU) and always when I need them. They keep me laughing when times get tough or let me cry when I need to be sad or just make jokes with me because I do stupid things...a lot of the time. Between family, sorority sisters, friends, peer ministers, SLPMs, and just people who call me awesome on a daily basis, God has my back and so do they, so thank you to all of you who make life easier to live happily.

Peace and Love,

Erica Jean

Hey Grandma, I miss you...

"Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw each other, it's one day closer to the next time you will."  ~Author Unknown

The last few weeks have been so awesome and God has been putting great things in my life. First he gave me the opportunity to go to South Dakota for three months this summer to help run camps and stuff with my aunt's order (she's a nun!) and then he sent me to run a retreat last weekend where they needed just one more peer to make a ten person team in order to run things properly and God opened my eyes once again to an opportunity to serve him by pushing me to apply for a 9 month mission trip. Since all this has been happening though, I start to miss things in my past, mostly my grandma.

If you don't know about my grandma, I will give you the short version. She was living with me since like 7th grade or so and she passed away at the end of my freshman year of high school and she means the world to me and inspires me with more than just my faith and I love her a lot and miss her more than I could ever explain.

Back to missing her...When great things happen in my life, I tend to miss her more than on a regular day when I am just BEing. Everyday I think about her for some reason, but when greater things come up, it hurts a little more that she isn't here because she isn't physically here to see me grow up and experience things such as my confirmation, graduation, a trip to Europe, talking to a youth group, going to Ecuador, planning whole retreats, and now, going to South Dakota to spend a summer with her daughter serving the Lord through helping with youth camps for girls.

This quote I chose today really describes our current relationship I guess you could say...

I talk to her when I am in adoration with the Lord, and I know that I am getting closer everyday to being with her in Heaven, it's just hard because I miss her so much and she isn't physically here to experience these things with me. 

I think it's hard to because I want EVERYONE to meet her. She changed my life and I want others to experience her love for everything and her musical talent and just everything she gave to me, but they can't except for what I tell them.

I don't only miss her when great things happen, I miss her when things get hard too because she's someone I could talk to and get help from always and she was always there telling me what I was doing wrong or what not in order to make myself better, so when I am feeling the way I have the last couple weeks and a lot more the last couple of days, I don't have her to help me and guide me in talking to people about what I want to say. 

God's ultimately got my back though and

It's what God wants!

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.”
-Douglas Adams

It's been awhile since I have written anything so I apologize. It's been crazy! I went on a young adult retreat a couple of weekends ago though and it was PHENOMENAL! It was pretty much exactly what I have needed for so long. The retreat was really short (from 6pm Saturday to 2pm Sunday I think), but it was filled with so much nourishment! I learned different ways to pray that I never experienced before, and prayed ways that I have before but it was completely different. The point of the retreat was to give us practical things to leave the retreat with that we can continue to use everyday on our own, not just in a retreat setting. My favorite thing that I learned was Lectio Divina. I have never experienced that the way that I did that weekend. The way it was explained was awesome and it made so much sense. I opened myself up to what God was trying to tell me through the readings and what came out of it was really great and God spoke to me and things have been falling into place now.

For those who don't know what Lectio Divina is, it is composed of 4 main parts and is a form of prayer. There is Lectio which is reading or listening to the reading, Meditatio, which is meditating on what you have read, Oratio, which is praying about it, and Contemplatio, which is contemplation which I see as just BEing.

Back to life..