"Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw each other, it's one day closer to the next time you will." ~Author Unknown
The last few weeks have been so awesome and God has been putting great things in my life. First he gave me the opportunity to go to South Dakota for three months this summer to help run camps and stuff with my aunt's order (she's a nun!) and then he sent me to run a retreat last weekend where they needed just one more peer to make a ten person team in order to run things properly and God opened my eyes once again to an opportunity to serve him by pushing me to apply for a 9 month mission trip. Since all this has been happening though, I start to miss things in my past, mostly my grandma.
If you don't know about my grandma, I will give you the short version. She was living with me since like 7th grade or so and she passed away at the end of my freshman year of high school and she means the world to me and inspires me with more than just my faith and I love her a lot and miss her more than I could ever explain.
Back to missing her...When great things happen in my life, I tend to miss her more than on a regular day when I am just BEing. Everyday I think about her for some reason, but when greater things come up, it hurts a little more that she isn't here because she isn't physically here to see me grow up and experience things such as my confirmation, graduation, a trip to Europe, talking to a youth group, going to Ecuador, planning whole retreats, and now, going to South Dakota to spend a summer with her daughter serving the Lord through helping with youth camps for girls.
This quote I chose today really describes our current relationship I guess you could say...
I talk to her when I am in adoration with the Lord, and I know that I am getting closer everyday to being with her in Heaven, it's just hard because I miss her so much and she isn't physically here to experience these things with me.
I think it's hard to because I want EVERYONE to meet her. She changed my life and I want others to experience her love for everything and her musical talent and just everything she gave to me, but they can't except for what I tell them.
I don't only miss her when great things happen, I miss her when things get hard too because she's someone I could talk to and get help from always and she was always there telling me what I was doing wrong or what not in order to make myself better, so when I am feeling the way I have the last couple weeks and a lot more the last couple of days, I don't have her to help me and guide me in talking to people about what I want to say.
God's ultimately got my back though and he will lead me in the path I need to go, I just need to let go and let Him take me there.
Something else I have learned in the last couple weeks is that sometimes you just need to get it all out there...your whole story...tell someone. It's easier to deal with what life brings you if you aren't going it alone. Whether it just be God that you are telling, or another friend or peer minister, it makes things easier that it isn't all on your shoulders.
No comments:
Post a Comment