He is ready and waiting for YOU

 When you look at the crucifix, you understand how much Jesus loved you then. When you look at the Sacred Host, you understand how much Jesus loves you now.
-Mother Teresa

Have you ever had one of those times where you've read a Bible story and thought you understood it completely, but then when you read it again this time, it really clicked? Ok, maybe not, but I really believe that God will show me what I need when I need it, so this is one of those times where I thought I understood the full meaning of a story but when I read it tonight, I really let it sink in. I read the story of the prodigal son tonight where the son comes home and the father welcomes him home with dancing and a feast after doing wrong. I really understood it. That story is so present in my life in my family, but I guess I never realized that it is just like my relationship with God. God will and does love you no matter what you've done. He will hold you and welcome you home no matter what, you just have to be willing to take that step and go in that direction.

I went to adoration at about 2am this morning at a church about 45 minutes away because I knew that had adoration overnight on Friday nights. This wasn't the first time I have gone there, and thinking about the Prodigal son story brings me back to one of the first times I went there for Adoration late at night. I got this quote by Mother Teresa about Jesus' love for us (the one at the beginning of the post). His love is NEVER ENDING. How AMAZING?!

What originally brought me to Adoration was not this though, but as we know, God's plan is always better than our own.

Meteor Shower

"I am not my own

For I have been made new
Please don't let me go
I desperately need you"

<3 Owl City -"Meteor Shower"

Let me tell you about how my adventure tonight started. I put on knee socks. Then I put on leggings. After that I put on a pair of fleece socks. Then I put on jeans and tucked my jeans into those socks and then put on another pair of fleece socks. On top of the jeans, I put on pajama pants. That is just the beginning. I already had two shirts on, so then I put on 3 sweatshirts, all with hoods, put the hoods on, and then proceeded to take my comforter and a fleece blanket outside to watch the meteor shower. I was still freezing, but that didn't matter.

I went outside on my lanai in my backyard tonight to watch the meteor shower. I have a fascination with watching the sky, hoping that I will see something more than just stars like I see any other night that I brave the weather and lay out there. Tonight, there are no words to describe what I saw. I realized I was crying while I was outside when I came inside and I felt the tears on my face that had ran down to my chin. I wasn't surprised though because

"In Christ Alone"

"In Christ alone, my hope is found

He is my light, my strength, my song

This cornerstone, this solid ground

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease

My comforter, my all-in-all

Here in the love of Christ I stand"
<3 "In Christ Alone" sung by Owl City

 

     First off, I would like to apologize for taking so long to write a new blog. My Fall 2010 semester is over now though! Praise God! It's been a long one, but at the same time it went by really quickly. Now to my blog....

     When I hear a song that I like, I generally listen to it about 50 times a day...the repeat button is my favorite at times like this. This last week of school, one of the girls in my hallway was awesome and made me a mix CD of praise and worship music and slid it under my door. I got to this one track and it sounded really beautiful and catchy. It sounded kind of like Owl City, actually it sounded exactly like Owl City, but sometimes I go crazy and hear things that aren't there maybe so I brushed it off. I later looked it up and it was by Owl City! How great! I love Owl City, so it made me love the song even more. Anyway, this song when I heard it caught my attention in a way that not many songs do. When I listened it was like I was personally being spoken, well sung, to and it made me fall in love kind of. (Work with me here...)

Something ordinary and so Amazing!

"Understand this well: there is something holy, something divine hidden in the most ordinary situations,
and it is up to each one of you to discover it."
- St. Josemaria Escriva

So the other day I said something about us having a different clock than God sometimes and today that was true sort of. I was going to wake up to go to morning mass at 7am and mass at 7:30am in the Abbey, but I didn't wake up until 6:45. Yes, I could have made it probably, but I wouldn't have been chill and mentally ready for morning prayer, so I decided I would just go to mass. I got ready and walked over with my friend Beverley to the church to find an amazing change of plans. Today's schedule was pushed back a half hour because it is a feast day so morning prayer was at 7:30 and mass was at 8! That means I got to go to both this morning!

Of course morning prayer and mass were great, but then I left the church and started walking to the dining hall on campus and an older couple who was in mass was walking that direction too. I walk really fast sometimes, and they moved to the one side of the sidewalk, but as I got up to them, I slowed down and said 'Hello' and asked how their day was going and such and we started having an actual conversation about if I am a student here, what I am studying, etc. I learned that they are from about 100 miles north of Detroit, but they are snow birds and just got down here for the winter and live in Brooksville and come to Leo a couple times while they are here to get oranges and go to the church. Now remember, I am from Wisconsin, so it was cool to hear that they are from up North and are snow birds because my grandparents do that too and are coming down next week! I found out that they know a Franciscan sister in Milwaukee, which is where I was born and I grew up around there. 

So where am I going with all of this you may ask. A couple of ways.

It's a NEW YEAR!

"Right here right now
Under the stars
I promise you my heart
Cause it starts tonight!"-TobyMac

I would like to start off by saying HAPPY NEW YEAR! I get more excited about this new year than the January 1st new year every year. With a new year here, that means Advent is here! Advent is a time for us to prepare ourselves for Christ's coming. Although I think we should be doing this everyday, Advent is a time in the church where things are changing and we can focus more on preparing our hearts for God.

This morning I went to morning prayer and mass with the monks at the Abbey and it was really great. Everyday we have the opportunity to participate in mass and receive the Eucharist and I think that mass helps us prepare ourselves and our hearts immediately. 

"I will give you a new heart and place a new spirit within you, taking from your bodies your stony hearts and giving you natural hearts." - Ezekiel 36:26

This summer when I started going to daily mass more frequently, I found that my heart was changing constantly and growing more open. I think when we make that decision to be open to God, he gives us this new heart, as stated in Ezekiel. Everyday that I went to mass, God was showing me something new and greater and I was opening my heart up to even more possibilities. 

The song "Tonight" by TobyMac has some great lyrics for right now. It starts tonight, promise God your heart and open yourself up. I am going to go a step farther and say it start right now. No better time than the present right? Spend some time with Jesus, even 5 minutes, and see what he is saying to you.

Oh and something else I have learned is to be patient because I am pretty sure that we have a different clock than God does sometimes.

Peace and Love,

Erica Jean

Way Beyond Myself!

"There’s so much more than meets the eye
Or what’s going on inside
I believe in something way beyond myself
Like the wind that moves the leaves
Lord, You bring me to my knees
I believe in something way beyond myself.."

<3 Newsboys

This year, I have really allowed myself to open my heart more to what God wants instead of what I want and just follow him wherever he takes me. Some people have a hard time trusting that whatever happens in my life is up to God..

I was driving in the car today to go get tea with a couple of friends and this song came on and it kept saying "I believe in something way beyond myself.." and that stuck in my head until I got to the tea lounge. God puts things in my life, opportunities, windows, doors, people that I may not see right away. As I continue to open myself up to what God wants, He shows me things more clearly, but it's all Him, never me. I love this song because it says the win that moves the leaves because something so simple that you may not think about even is God working in our lives.

"I’ve been thinking it’s about time
To win the war that fights against all the lies invading my mind
You have brought me to my senses
Even though You built this world to shake
You still love me in a personal way
So I think it’s time to leave my doubt behind.."

In my life lately, I have really had to trust God with what is happening because I have no idea what's going on with a lot of things right now, but I've learned that if I leave my doubt behind, He makes things happen if it's in His will for me.

Sometimes we can be too stubborn to go with what God wants and I know that I used to be like that, then I opened myself up and it was a whole new world of opportunity and it was full of God's love and caring hand. I had never experienced God like that before and now that I have there is no way I would want to go back.

Be open to what God wants for you because His plan is always better!

Side note that has nothing to do with this blog other than it happened while I was writing it:

I am in Panera and my feet were cold so I put my toes on the white box on my power cord that was really warm...Thanks God for that hot idea. 

Peace and Love,

Erica Jean Boehm

Keep ministering...to yourself too!

“One would be wise to see themselves not merely as a channel, but a reservoir. For a channel simply transmits something from one place to another, without retaining a drop for itself. While a reservoir first, fills itself up, and then, without losing any of what it has, waters the fields it is meant to water." - St. Bernard

Being in ministry, sometimes you get so involved in being there for the teens and your peers that you forget to minister to yourself and continue to fill yourself up. Being a peer minister at my church all through high school was great, and I was lucky enough to have a youth minister who knew that we needed to be filled as well so she gave us opportunities for that. Now that I am in college, I always remember to take time to spend with the Lord no matter what. A month ago I went on a young adult retreat to have time to retreat from the world and it was really great, but now a month later, I realize everyday I have that and you don't have to go on retreat to get filled. Everyday when I take time out for personal prayer or even going to Mass, I am filling myself up so I can better minister to people everyday. It's great knowing that God is always there waiting.

As I am writing this, the song "Taking You With Me" by Relient K came on and these lyrics really stuck out.

"So I'm taking you with me
Anywhere that I
Could ever wanna be
For the rest of my life
I want you there with me
And if there ever comes a time
When I should have to leave
I hope you know that I
I'm taking you with me"

I think about moving on in life, which I have been facing a lot lately. I am going to South Dakota for the whole summer to be in ministry and I know that I will need and want God with me along the way. I think about the small things though too that are actually really BIG.

Until the Whole World Hears

"I want to be Your hands and feet, I want to live a life that leads, To see You set the captive free
Until the whole world hears
And I pray the day will see More of You and less of me
Lord, I want my life to be The song You sing" 

<3 Casting Crowns

The word "whole" has been coming up in my prayer life a lot lately, in different ways, but so great. One of the things that I have been getting out of Lectio is "whole heart". As I contemplated this in prayer, I found that God puts me into different situations and encounter different things in order for my love for God and other to grow stronger. I look at is as even though I may face hardships along the way, his plan is to ultimately build my heart up stronger to serve Him and not tear me down.

"With Every NO, God has a bigger YES!"

Another way that I have run into "whole" in prayer is tonight when I was praying Lectio and came across the words "whole law" in Matt 22:34-40. Right before those words, it says to Love the Lord with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind. In order to fully serve God and His people, I think that it's necessary to love God with everything you have.


I am chaperoning a retreat tomorrow and it's a homeless retreat. Yes, I said Homeless...

The Best Thing

"It's been a year
Filled with problems
But now you're here
Almost as if to solve them
And I can't live in a world without you now"

 <3 Relient K-"The Best Thing"

So today I have realized (not that I haven't before) that not only does having God around make life easier, the people he puts in my life make living everyday easier. God has put some pretty phenomenal people in my life (Yes, that's YOU) and always when I need them. They keep me laughing when times get tough or let me cry when I need to be sad or just make jokes with me because I do stupid things...a lot of the time. Between family, sorority sisters, friends, peer ministers, SLPMs, and just people who call me awesome on a daily basis, God has my back and so do they, so thank you to all of you who make life easier to live happily.

Peace and Love,

Erica Jean

Hey Grandma, I miss you...

"Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw each other, it's one day closer to the next time you will."  ~Author Unknown

The last few weeks have been so awesome and God has been putting great things in my life. First he gave me the opportunity to go to South Dakota for three months this summer to help run camps and stuff with my aunt's order (she's a nun!) and then he sent me to run a retreat last weekend where they needed just one more peer to make a ten person team in order to run things properly and God opened my eyes once again to an opportunity to serve him by pushing me to apply for a 9 month mission trip. Since all this has been happening though, I start to miss things in my past, mostly my grandma.

If you don't know about my grandma, I will give you the short version. She was living with me since like 7th grade or so and she passed away at the end of my freshman year of high school and she means the world to me and inspires me with more than just my faith and I love her a lot and miss her more than I could ever explain.

Back to missing her...When great things happen in my life, I tend to miss her more than on a regular day when I am just BEing. Everyday I think about her for some reason, but when greater things come up, it hurts a little more that she isn't here because she isn't physically here to see me grow up and experience things such as my confirmation, graduation, a trip to Europe, talking to a youth group, going to Ecuador, planning whole retreats, and now, going to South Dakota to spend a summer with her daughter serving the Lord through helping with youth camps for girls.

This quote I chose today really describes our current relationship I guess you could say...

I talk to her when I am in adoration with the Lord, and I know that I am getting closer everyday to being with her in Heaven, it's just hard because I miss her so much and she isn't physically here to experience these things with me. 

I think it's hard to because I want EVERYONE to meet her. She changed my life and I want others to experience her love for everything and her musical talent and just everything she gave to me, but they can't except for what I tell them.

I don't only miss her when great things happen, I miss her when things get hard too because she's someone I could talk to and get help from always and she was always there telling me what I was doing wrong or what not in order to make myself better, so when I am feeling the way I have the last couple weeks and a lot more the last couple of days, I don't have her to help me and guide me in talking to people about what I want to say. 

God's ultimately got my back though and

It's what God wants!

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.”
-Douglas Adams

It's been awhile since I have written anything so I apologize. It's been crazy! I went on a young adult retreat a couple of weekends ago though and it was PHENOMENAL! It was pretty much exactly what I have needed for so long. The retreat was really short (from 6pm Saturday to 2pm Sunday I think), but it was filled with so much nourishment! I learned different ways to pray that I never experienced before, and prayed ways that I have before but it was completely different. The point of the retreat was to give us practical things to leave the retreat with that we can continue to use everyday on our own, not just in a retreat setting. My favorite thing that I learned was Lectio Divina. I have never experienced that the way that I did that weekend. The way it was explained was awesome and it made so much sense. I opened myself up to what God was trying to tell me through the readings and what came out of it was really great and God spoke to me and things have been falling into place now.

For those who don't know what Lectio Divina is, it is composed of 4 main parts and is a form of prayer. There is Lectio which is reading or listening to the reading, Meditatio, which is meditating on what you have read, Oratio, which is praying about it, and Contemplatio, which is contemplation which I see as just BEing.

Back to life..

Knocking down walls to Open Doors

 

"If you surround your heart with walls, the Lord 

will send people to knock them down (Josh. 6:20, Heb. 11:30)."

<3 Mark Hart (the Bible Geek)

 

     Mark Hart is one of the greatest people I know of. Things he posts on twitter/Lifeteen/facebook are AMAZING! This quote at the top was posted on his facebook page awhile ago and I just love it. It is really true. Sometimes in life, we build those walls around us and our hearts in order to not let our emotions out or whatever else, but God always sends those people into your life to knock them down. I truly believe that it is through the love we receive, the walls are knocked down so we can live for Him. Mark Hart posted another quote last week that I could not stop thinking about.

"Love rarely comes in the form, the manner or the person we're expecting. (Lk 1:26, Mt 1:20, Lk 2:12)"

 I receive love in so many different ways each day and most of them are completely unexpected. I know I will be loved by certain people in my life, but then there are those surprises each day that remind me that God is looking at me and wants to make me more comfortable with living for Him and spreading His love to others.

The last few weeks have been really stressful for me and I was looking for a way to get away from school and just have time to pray and be quiet and just be with Him, and so many people gave me that opportunity because they love me. 

I got sent information about a young adult retreat happening this weekend by a couple of people and I stumbled upon it myself and I knew that this was what I needed. This is God sending some extra love my way and knocking down walls. I can't wait to just be present on a retreat instead of leading them, even though I love doing that, I need to be fed spiritually before I can minister to others.

I realize that this weekend is exciting because it is Halloween, but I just don't feel like I am missing that much because honestly, Halloween happens every weekend in college almost with different theme parties, while this amazingly decorated door to this retreat doesn't happen every weekend. 

Remember to take time for YOU and take time with GOD, because that relationship is the most important. <3

Peace and Love,

Erica Jean

I won't lose ME.

"I don't want to gain the whole world, and lose my soul..."

<3 TobyMac

 For my leadership class (aka Theories of the Muggle World) this week, I had to write FIVE values that I live by, define it according to my life, why I live by it, and how I apply it in my everyday life. Easy? I thought so. It took me a whole week pretty much to just figure out values that I live by because I just go on and live my life and I guess I don't think about values except for the Core Values of Saint Leo. I narrowed it down to 5 that I think are dominant in my life and this is what I came up with:

1.     Appreciation is understanding how valuable a person’s actions, words, etc. are. I selected this one because I think it is important to tell people they are doing a good job when they are and recognize the important role they play in your life. I apply it to everyday life by telling people on a regular basis how good of a job they are doing and telling people I really appreciate something they are doing.

2.     Devotion is when, no matter what, I stay focused on my faith and what keeps me balanced. I have selected this because I know when I lose my focus on my faith, the rest of my life doesn’t function correctly. I apply it to life by trying to remember that even when things go wrong, something good will come after. “With every NO, God has a bigger YES.”

3.     Forgiveness is not holding a grudge against someone because of something they have said or done to you. I selected this value because I have a hard time moving on from things sometimes so this reminds me to let things go, especially when they are stupid things. I apply this to everyday life by trying not to hold grudges against people for things they say or do because I don’t know what they are going through. “Let go and Let God.”

4.     Loving All is not putting people down and giving them the love they deserve as a human being. I have selected this value to live by because I think the most important thing in life almost is letting people know that they are loved.

Sisterhood

"And I'll, be, my brothers keeper
So the whole world will know
That we're not alone.."

<3 "Hold us Together" by Matt Maher

     The last two weeks have been CRAZY! My life has gone up and down numerous times, but that's okay. I have learned a lot and grown closer to people who are good in my life, and added new people to my life. If I have learned anything in the last two weeks though, it is the importance of sisterhood, and brotherhood in some cases. I am in a sorority, and a couple of my sisters and I are close and that is pretty much who I hang out with...all the time. I can go to them with any problems I have pretty much and they have my back. I added a little sister to my life this week (YAY!) and she is phenomenal. I couldn't ask for a better little sister to add to my family tree. She blows my mind pretty much every time I talk to her even if she doesn't know it. I have relearned from these few people how important being a sister is. I try my best to be here for them whenever they are hurting or laughing, or just don't want to be alone.

      In Matt Maher's song, "Hold Us Together", it says "I'll be my brothers keeper so the whole world will know that we're not alone."

New week. God's right here with me...

 "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

<3 Philippians 4:13

Today was not the best way to start the week. I am chilling in my dorm room right now and I am just sitting on my bed and I have my iTunes on shuffle in hopes that I can find what I need. I got to this song and the beginning lyrics were: "I can do all things Through Christ who gives me strength, But sometimes I wonder what He can do through me; No great success to show, No glory on my own..."

This bible verse, Philippians 4:13, is my favorite. It has been my favorite since probably middle school or freshman year of high school. It has always reminded me that when God has my back, I can do anything that I put my mind to. Lately, I guess I have forgotten about that. I have been doing a lot of what I want to do probably instead of what God wants to do.

Tonight at mass, Father talked about bringing God into everything that you do. I am usually really good about doing that. I used to pray before I started things, now I guess I have forgotten about it. I schedule myself for too many things and I get worn out.

Goals for week: Figure out new schedule so I don't get so worn out. Bring God into EVERYTHING that I do. <3

Something I learned this weekend after almost passing out is there are 2 very important things to keep your body working correctly. 1. Water. 2. Sleep. I didn't have much of either of those..especially the 2nd one... That is what I am going to work on this week.

It is an AMAZING day!

"This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice in it and be glad."

Psalm 118:24

Today is the day the Lord has made...Praise Him! Today is a great day and I am glad I have so many hours to be awake today because I woke up at 8am to finish a project that's due. Usually I wake up at about noon or 2 and go to class since they are later in the day, but then most of my day is gone...today is going to be long, but I get to see God in everything I do, and more than usual since I am up earlier!

Remember to be happy with whatever happens because "With every 'No', God has a BIGGER 'YES'"

Have a great day everyone.

Peace and Love,

Erica Jean

Jesus is...

Cast all your worries upon him because he cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7

      So, I went to daily mass yesterday in the Chapel. On Wednesday night when I decided I wanted to go, I asked James, one of the other peer ministers on campus, if he would come with because then I knew I would go and I had someone to hold me accountable sort of. (Accountability partners are a good thing I have found out.) Going to mass was such a good thing. I have found every time I go to mass when I really was set on not going, I get something amazing out of it, not that I don't get something out of mass on a regular basis, it just reassures me that I need to keep going to mass. Anyway...

      The homily at mass was pretty awesome and really got me thinking. Father was talking about how Jesus is our friend, our companion, redeemer, beginning and the end, alpha and omega, etc. and at different times, Jesus is different things to us. At peer minister retreat at the beginning of the school year, each peer minister got a candle with a name for Jesus on it and a quality of a peer minister. My candle has "listener" written on one side. Jesus is a listener. Right now, that is exactly who Jesus is to me. He is still my friend, best friend actually, and my savior, messiah, everything, but he is a listener right now most of all.

Back on Track

"For every way, O LORD! you magnified and glorified your people; unfailing, you stood by them in every time and circumstance." Wisdom 19:22

This summer I found who I was and who I wanted to be. I started doing more instead of just trying to be a better person. It wasn't easy, but this summer was one of the best summers of my life. I knew when I got back to school it would be hard to keep acting like I did this summer, but I was ready. God had my back and I was always going to him, not just for things I needed. I knew this year would be awesome.

I got back to school the beginning of August for Peer Minister training and it was awesome. This first week of school was pretty good, just hard to get back into the school mode a little. After the first week was when things got a little harder. Every week there was something big going on all week that I had to be at, so I was getting worn out.

Over the summer, I started going to daily mass a lot alternating between a couple of churches in my area and I really enjoyed it. Going to daily mass got me to bring myself out of the regular world for a half hour and just hang out and pray with my friend Jesus and take part in the Eucharist. It really helped keep me balanced.